Letting Go

According to the United Nations environmental degradation will create 50 million refugees during the next decade. These refugees are generally defined as people displaced by climate change. As Pariah Readers know, there are many ways our climate can be altered, including molds, chemicals, and emf's.

Here in the United States there are a growing number of displaced people who are living in conflict; not only from polluted environments, but with their own families and friends due to the lack of knowledge, education and resources available to the general public about chemical injury.

This brief overview of the problem is offered as an insight into the stark reality facing many people in this country. People we define as: vagabonds of conflict. People like Loni Rosser, who has graciously agreed to an interview. Loni is currently unable to live in her home due to emf pollution from nearby cell towers.

Unfortunately, Loni is far from alone in her dilemma. A 2003 study published in Environmental Health Perspectives estimates as much as 12 percent of the population or 36.5 million Americans are afflicted by chemical sensitivities.

I was working in a building that had leaks all across the roof & were left unfixed for years. It developed a bad mold problem that I was exposed to for about 4 years. Then the new owners remediated the mold with all the employees in the building. I was exposed to 3 things: The use of the bleach/chemicals to kill the mold, the proliferation of the mold when you disturb it, and then the new construction of the roof (use of more chemicals). This all was happening over a period of about 5 months. I went to several doctors over the summer to figure out why my brains felt like they were being sucked out of my head. It was a strange feeling. I went to Mexico & felt better. I then returned to work & I became very very sick. Then, shortly after, started to have reactions in my own home. I didn't understand what was happening to me.

How long have you been unable to live inside your home(s) and what health problems do you attribute to living in a toxic home?

I am extremely fatigued. I can only stay up for about an hour and then need to lay down. Hard to do when you are homeless. When I am home and exposed to the EMF my body fills up & my skin burns. I can't detox the electrical radiation.

I get pain in my gut, migraines, vertigo, chest tightness, nausea also when I have an exposure.

Besides the obvious logistical problems created because you can't live reside inside your own home with your family, can you speak to the internal conflicts, (between you and your family), this type of illness create?

My husband doesn't believe me & has influenced the kids & that is stressful because you want you family to understand. I then of course have to deal with fragrances being brought in to the house & electric being turned on. My daughter wore perfume & it filled the house. I had to leave immediately.

Where do you sleep most nights?

I have been sleeping in a desert park that is gated with a combination about 7 miles from my house. I sleep on top of the van on my cot when it is really hot. Now that is cooling off I am in the van with all the windows open. I have to address the cold soon. I will not be able to sleep in the van with everything closed because of the plastics. There are many things I have experienced at the park such as drunks shooting aimlessly at night, a psychic reading one night about a death that might have happened there, a suicide hanging. I was there during dove hunting season & woke up to guns going off every morning for about 2 weeks. I honked my horn as to warn hunters that I was there.

I am camping out at a friends back yard now in rural Arizona which is a lot safer place to be. It is too far from my children & have a difficult time with that. It will be too cold to camp soon. I will bring my RV up here so I have some shelter more than likely.

How hard is it not to be able to be in the home to take care of your kids?

Emotionally it is very hard. I have always made sure they had good meals & vitamins, taken them to where ever they needed to go. It is very stressful & depressing for me not to be able to do that any longer. I am a Good Mother. I dream of the simple things like making them a dinner. That was always our family time around the dinner table where we all were together & caught up on what was happening.

Family members portraying me badly is hard too because I love my kids more than anything in the world. My reputation has been ruined because of this illness.

Do you feel you have to choose between your health and you families well being?

Oh yes. I don't make the nutritious meals anymore. Not only because of the reactions but my energy is zapped. I just can't do it.

I want so badly to take care of them all.

I was the kind of mom that didn't buy the bagged salad & poor it in a bowl. I bought the good dark lettuce & washed every leaf really well & made a nutritional salad for them a few time per week. Of course they hated that. Ha, Oh well, I guess I couldn't get them to eat it now anyway being the obstinate teenagers they are now.

How hard is it to find a safe house that you can be well in?

I know now that I will have to build something for me with appropriate materials. I can't tolerate electrical wiring. The Building Biologist educated me on this when he tested my home. He tested my body for electrical voltage due to the wiring in the house. When we turned the electric off it went down & when we turned it on it went really high. It was interesting. I told him I felt better in commercial buildings like a restaurant or Mall. He said it was because of conduit (wrapped wires).

It all makes sense as to why I could not find one house that I could rent over a year ago. I just didn't know about my electrical sensitivities. The commercial buildings seem to block the RF better also. Boy, I wish I could live at Applebees!!!

Do you see a solution for resolving this housing crisis for you?

I do, but............. I have a husband that doesn't see a crisis. If it were up to me this house would be on the market now. Selling the home & building something with special materials. A home we could be together in as a family. Of course, the housing market is in the dumps so selling it now would be difficult.

I don't have any solution long term but short term I will be living in the RV is looks like. Money is tight.

If you had a safe home where you could live with your family how would that change your life?

I would be a happy gal, not depressed any longer. I would be healing and I would have hope. I would spend as much time with my family as I could & I would be so grateful for every piece of laundry or dirty dishes that I have to clean.

I have learned so much & would work toward helping others. That would be my purpose!

Thank you very much Loni for sharing your experiences. We wish you well.