My Nontoxic Wedding and Honeymoon

By Jennifer D’Alvarez

When my husband proposed to me, I was obviously excited but then became quickly overwhelmed. I had been suffering from severe chemical sensitivities for just over a year and the thought of planning a ”safe” wedding seemed like an impossible task however I was up for the challenge. In the end, I managed to have not only a nontoxic wedding but a nontoxic honeymoon as well. I hope that by sharing the details of my wedding and honeymoon planning, that other chemically injured individuals will realize that they too can have an elegant and wonderful wedding without getting sick. 

Location:

I think that more than anything, the location was key. We held the wedding on the lawn of our friend’s house because they don’t use any pesticides or herbicides. By controlling the environment we could set the tone for the rest of the wedding.

Vendors:

I asked all vendors to refrain from wearing fragrance. I asked the caterer to use organic ingredients when possible. I didn’t feel the need to purchase organic flowers although that was an option. As for the rental company, I requested that they wash and dry the linens without the use of fabric softener however that wasn’t possible. This actually wasn’t an issue since the tablecloths aired out for hours in the sun prior to the wedding.

Decorations:

I opted out of putting votives on each table as I didn’t want to get sick from the smoke. Instead, I strung mini white lights throughout the yard (around the trees and in the bushes) and it looked beautiful.

Wedding Dress:

I searched online for bridal shops, read reviews and avoided stores that had scents. I explained my health issues to the owners so they would expedite the “trying on” process. Once I purchased the dress, I requested that it be cleaned by a non-toxic dry cleaner.

Guests:

An insert was included in each invitation asking guests to refrain from wearing fragrance of any type. We followed-up with phone calls and everyone obliged.

Bridal Showers:

I had three bridal showers, all on restaurant patios. My mother and I talked to the managers of each restaurant extensively before each shower, explained my health issues and asked them to refrain from spraying pesticides at least 2 weeks prior. All obliged and even rearranged their spray schedules to accommodate me. Invitations asked guests to refrain from wearing perfume and calls were made to remind them.

Bachelorette Weekend:

I opted out of a typical bachelorette party for obvious health reasons. Instead, my girlfriends rented a cabin on Big Bear Lake for the weekend. Both my maid of honor and I called the management company a couple of times each, explained my issues, and asked that the house be cleaned with only vinegar and water prior to my arrival. I sent an email to my friends describing the types of things that make me sick (and why) and offered to bring personal care and cleaning products for everyone to use which they did. 

Rehearsal Dinner and day after wedding breakfast:

Both were held in private rooms of restaurants which had access to fresh air (via doors that opened to the outside). We called ahead of time and asked them not to spray pesticides at least 2 weeks prior to our dinner/breakfast and to clean the rooms with vinegar and water which they did.

Honeymoon:

In selecting our honeymoon destination we took into account the amount of air travel and local environment. Europe was out since it was at least an 11 hour flight. We also considered the fact that there would probably be too many smokers. Most tropical countries were out as well since our research told us that the weather conditions meant that there would be tons of mosquitoes and most people would be using bug spray. We decided instead to go to New York City and Aruba and both turned out to be wonderful.

I was initially concerned about going to New York City because of pollution but once we got there I quickly realized that the air quality in LA is far worse. We stayed in a hotel on a residential street in the Upper Westside. I contacted the hotel ahead of time and requested that our room be cleaned with vinegar and water. The subways were relatively empty during the day and were surprisingly alright during the evening rush hour as they were well ventilated and people weren’t wearing much perfume (although we didn’t take it during a weekday morning which may have made a difference). We ate most meals outside to avoid pesticides and other exposures and did other normal tourist activities. All in all, I was fine in NYC.

After spending 2 whirlwind days in NYC, we were off to Aruba. We stayed in a small, eco-friendly, non-smoking hotel quite a few miles away from the high rises (and therefore all the people). Prior to our trip, the hotel staff and I exchanged several emails discussing my health issues and they assured me that my needs would be met. They cleaned our room prior to our arrival with vinegar and water and continued to do so for the duration of the trip. They washed all of our linens with water and vinegar and I was actually able to sleep on their sheets which I haven’t been able to do since getting sick. It was amazing. I felt perfectly fine in the hotel room and didn’t need to open any doors for fresh air.

Marriage doesn’t give one any rights in another person except such rights that a person gives -  nor any freedom except the freedom which that person gives. Kahlil Gibran

We did many normal tourist and honeymoon activities while there including a massage on the beach for which we had the massage therapists use my unscented lotion and refrain from wearing fragrance. We took several taxis during our trip and always did the “sniff” test before getting in. We had many adventures and had a perfect honeymoon. The air in Aruba was incredibly clean and I felt like a totally healthy person. It was truly wonderful.

You’ve probably noticed a theme throughout my entire story. Communication is key. We constantly called, called again, and verified arrangements. From the vinegar and water for cleaning to ensuring people refrained from wearing fragrance. I can’t stress enough the importance of following up to make sure the conditions are as perfect as possible. Communication more than anything else made my experiences amazing and I wouldn’t change a thing.